Written by Courtney N. Shale // 12.2.19
Are you feeling uncertain about the last month of the year, let alone the last month of the decade?
You’re not alone.
A new year brings new uncertainties, but I want to challenge that thought and instead think of all the new opportunities!
This week we are going to dive into getting your heart ready for the new year and talking through some difficult subjects and getting you set up for your best year yet.
Remember, each week builds upon the next, so stick with me and do the hard work now.
You’ll thank me for it, I promise.
We are going to chat through where you are at currently- physically, mentally and emotionally and uncover some hard truths that you have buried deep down.
It’s time to step up to the plate and get your heart ready- don’t look back, you’re not going that way!
Let’s dive in!
You Are Not a Product of Your Environment
I can’t tell you how many times in my life I have reached the point of exhaustion and was ready to blame my circumstances on my environment.
I would feel so stuck, so helpless and so confused. I had no idea what to do, what action to take, and instead- I was ready to just give up and “deal with it” by claiming myself as a product of my environment.
Have you ever felt like this before?
It is not fun, I can tell you that. It makes you feel so alone, when in reality, we are in total control of how we decide to respond to whatever is making us feel this way.
For example, if you listened to my episode about “new level, new devil” you will know that my journey of being an entrepreneur is a rollercoaster, and sometimes, more than I would like to admit, I reach this state of being ready to toss in the towel and say it is what it is.
Heck, I would be lying if I said I have it all figured out. I don’t think that is God’s intention for us.
Whenever I feel like I am a product of my environment, it is usually because I need to take a step back, take a breather and learn to rest. When I don’t, I hit a wall, I get frustrated and ultimately, I become really ungrateful. My mindset becomes anything other than what it needs to be, and it is NOT pretty.
The best way to get out of this mindset is to get all of your feelings out on paper, in my opinion. I love writing and storytelling, so when I am feeling this pressure and anxiety, I like to talk about how I feel to normalize it, because as I said, you’re not alone! And when I get like this, I know I am not alone either.
I want you to know that no matter how you are feeling or what your situation is, write it down, let it go and remember who you are. Your why. Who God made you to be. We are surrounded by beauty and grace if we decide to see it that way.
Not everything has to be figured out right now- life is a journey. You are not a product of your environment.
Pain and Heartbreak; Using your Passion for a Bigger Purpose
Sometimes when we are feeling lost, stuck and unsure; it is due to a deeper root-cause that we need to tackle head on.
As humans, we have super complex emotions and sometimes I wish I didn’t because it gets to be kind of confusing trying to figure your own self out, right? Does it not?
I mean, I can go from feeling really good and productive to feeling like “uhm what am I doing?”. I have to stop myself and remember that the best way to feel better and let go is to dig deep and acknowledge what is going on.
A lot of times, what we hold onto is past pain and past heartbreak. We feel like things may not turn around for us because we feel so hurt, we feel so hopeless, we feel like we lack direction.
Friend, it is ok. You have permission to figure yourself out and feel what you feel. Feelings are not right nor wrong- its way more complex than that.
I like to think that when we get uncomfortable like this, it is because we are on the verge of a breakthrough and something that is going to help us in our next chapter of our story. I want to challenge you to think that way too.
Take action- do what you have to do to get your mind right and then think about the bigger picture. Let’s use that lesson for growth and for using your passions and story for a bigger purpose.
Usually when we experience these hardships, we realize we are passionate about helping others with the same things we are experiencing. There is strength in numbers and community.
When I started sharing my story and getting real about what I struggle with, the more I realized that I feel better when I talk about what I am going through in a way that can help uplift others.
Sure, I get in the normal funk every so often, but I remember that I am in control. All I have to do is say “ok, this is happening, BUT I am in control of how I feel today and what I want to do with my story. Let’s go change lives today”.
Whatever it is that lights you up, that motivates you- use your hardships and shortcomings as the fuel to get out there and make something of it. Let those experiences shape you for the better, make you stronger and go make it happen with love and purpose in your heart.
How to Embrace Changes – Mental Health
So, we have chatted through not being a product of your environment and using our pain and heartbreaks to fuel us into taking action to overcome our feelings- let’s dive into putting it all together to embrace these changes with our mental health.
Getting your heart right is only so easy if you do not believe that things will turn around.
When things change- in this case getting us ready for a new year- we have to think of all of the good that can come from these changes.
I have said it once and I will say it before, I battle my fair share of anxiety and depression. Change makes me uncertain because I realize I cannot control what is happening.
Want to know a secret?
Despite my need to feel in control, I ultimately feel better when I surrender and, instead, focus on taking care of myself and take everything one day at a time.
Shift your mindset to “what can I do today to feel like my best self?”
Shift your mindset to “what will happen when I think positive thoughts?”
Shift your mindset to “what will happen when I give myself grace?”
Think about these things for a minute. Soak it in.
When I feel like I am capable and worthy of good things happening, good things happen.
When I think positively, good things happen.
When I realize I don’t have to have it all figured out and that, literally, there is no rush to any of this- I can feel happy right where I am.
My mental health starts to shift from fear to strength. To purpose. To happiness.
Some of my favorite ways to “get out of my head” include writing, reading, going for a walk, getting some exercise in and taking a deep breath. Sometimes that is all it takes.
There is a quote that says something about we are the ones who are in a hurry. God is not in a hurry. And that between our goals there is this thing called life that needs to be lived.
Are you living? Are you thriving? Or are you shrinking and hiding?
Yes, You Can!
If I can leave you with anything, I want you to know that, even when it feels hard, there is a way. God is making a way- and YOU CAN.
Good things are coming.
Great things are coming.
The best things are coming.
Get your heart right, friend.
You are loved.
You are valued.
You can do whatever you set your mind to – program it for success.
For more tools and resources, be sure to listen in on past episodes!
We are in this together, friend. You are not alone!